


hold me, lover (don't let go)

by thesorrowoflizards



Series: dealing with the midseason finale and crying [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Breakfast, Comfort Sex, Fix-It, Fluff, Foreplay, Gentle Sex, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Magic Loss, Massages, Or Is It?, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Smut, but not super in-depth, self-indulgent fix-it, so much love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 09:02:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14891604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesorrowoflizards/pseuds/thesorrowoflizards
Summary: Alec takes care of his boyfriend and makes him feel good.They both discover something shocking.





	hold me, lover (don't let go)

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: author has never given someone or recieved a massage before & has little to no idea how they (practically speaking) work
> 
> ALSO LOOK I PROMISE THIS ISN'T JUST SMUT

 

 

 

That night, Alec took Magnus to bed.

They cuddled on the couch for a while longer—put on a movie, ordered some takeout (Magnus took a quick shower, and when he came back his contact lenses were missing) and lazed about lying in each other’s arms and cutting themselves off from the outside world.

And then that eventually led to lazy kissing, Alec rolling on top of Magnus and kissing him deeply.

Things escalated pretty quickly. Soon they were full on making out, moaning and hands slipping under clothing…

Magnus’s mind was finally completely away from his problems, away from the terrifying future. All he was thinking of was _Alec—_ Alec’s hands on his body, gentle and warm, Alec’s lips devouring his, Alec’s tongue in his mouth, Alec’s scent and heat surrounding him, Alec’s hard dick rubbing against his thigh through a few thin layers of clothing… 

And then Alec’s arms were wrapping around him and Magnus was being scooped up, lifted into the air—Magnus yelped in surprise, unable to stop himself from laughing and clinging to Alec, happiness bursting throughout his whole body, distracting him from the ache of his missing pieces.

Alec carried him to the bedroom, swinging him around and making him laugh and cling closer, kicking the bedroom door open and carrying Magnus sideways inside. He kicked the door shut behind them, nearly stumbling before righting himself, and then he made his way to the bed and gently placed Magnus on the sheets.

Magnus smiled from his place on the bed, sitting up and spreading his knees enticingly. “Don’t keep me waiting,” he said teasingly. “Come on, Alexander.”

Alec grinned. “Just a second,” he said.

Magnus rolled his eyes, exaggerating the movement to let Alec know he was just being playful.

Alec grabbed the lube from the bedside table, hand hesitating over the fluffy handcuffs he’d used on Magnus a few days ago before bypassing them in favor of some sandalwood lotion.

He turned back to Magnus, joining him on the bed and settling between his legs, kissing him deeply.

Magnus moaned against his mouth, kissing back eagerly. Then Alec guided him backwards, pushing him gently until his back was against the bed.

He began kissing down Magnus, smattering kisses down his jawline, then all over his neck.

Magnus hummed appreciatively, tilting his head to give him better access.

He gasped and sighed happily with each mark Alec made, scattering them down his neck and to his collarbone.

Alec kissed his way down to Magnus’s nipples, paying special attention to them as he went. Magnus head rolled back against the mattress, eyes fluttering shut and mouth hanging open as Alec took turns kissing and sucking each one, gently tugging them with his teeth.

Alec didn’t linger too long, kissing each before sitting up and retrieving the lotion from where he’d put it within reach on the sheets.

“Does a massage sound good, love?” he asked softly.

Magnus smiled up at him, eyes warm. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” he said.

“I like taking care of you,” Alec said honestly. “I want to make you feel good.”

Magnus let his head fall back again. “Okay,” he said. Letting Alec take care of him. Letting Alec make him feel good. Letting Alec distract him from—it.

Alec squeezed some lotion into his palms before swiping the cap shut with one hand. He rubbed the lotion between his palms a little before placing his hands on Magnus’s chest.

Magnus flinched instinctively away from the cold touch before forcing himself to relax.

Alec gently kneaded at his muscles, rubbing the lotion into his skin and massaging him gently. He worked his way down, hands working magic on Magnus _(oh wasn’t that ironic—shut up)_ and making him melt against the mattress.

Before long, Magnus was letting out little moans of pleasure and sighs of relief, eyes closed and whole body relaxed.

Alec worked up and down his whole body—appreciating his boyfriend’s muscles as he went, thank you very much. Honestly, watching Magnus like this, relaxed and moaning, feeling his firm body melt beneath his hands—Alec was getting a little worked up himself.

By the time Alec was done with this side, Magnus was a happy puddle on the sheets, seeming to have no noises left in him but appreciative humming.

He spent a little time teasing his cock—gentle kitten licks that had Magnus whimpering half-heartedly and playing with his balls a little—but quickly moved on, wanting to finish before he got to that part of the fun.

“I’m gonna turn you over, okay?”

“Mmm….” Magnus mumbled. “You know, I thought this was going somewhere else but this is… this is really good.”

Alec smiled, kissing his forehead. “There’ll be time for that later, if you’re up for it,” he promised. “For now, I’m moving on to your back.”

Magnus compliantly rolled over (it was more of an inelegant flop, but Alec helped him adjust to a more comfortable position) and lay on his stomach, face pressed sideways into the pillow.

Alec refreshed his lotion again, starting at Magnus’s shoulders and upper back. He could feel some real knots of tension, and he eased them as gently as he could. Magnus was moaning quietly again in no time.

Alec worked his way down once more, stopping around his hips and restarting at his thighs. Magnus was putty in his hands, letting Alec move him as he pleased.

And then when he’d done everything down to the soles of his feet, he went back up to his ass.

Magnus gasped as Alec gently parted his cheeks, kissing his dry hole. He was clean after his shower, but Alec could still smell the faint scent of sandalwood on his skin.

“You still want this?” Alec asked, glancing up his body even though he couldn’t see Magnus’s face. “Or are you too sleepy?”

Magnus lifted his head slightly so his words wouldn’t be muffled, smirking slightly even though he knew Alec couldn’t see it. “Mmm… I’m never too sleepy, darling.”

He pushed his ass up slightly towards Alec, wiggling it mischievously.

Alec grinned. “Okay, then, Magnus, you asked for it.”

He nudged Magnus’s legs apart further, leaning down to pull his cheeks apart again. He licked Magnus’s hole, holding him down through a full-body shudder.

He kept going, eagerly eating him out, using his tongue to make Magnus shiver and groan and whine softly. Alec alternated between slow, broad, soft licks and curling his tongue to give fierce, quick jabs into Magnus’s ass. But it was shallow, licking him out and making Magnus bite back whines of pleasure.

He’d always been sensitive down there, and Alec had every intention of driving him crazy before fucking him.

Magnus arched his ass up a little like he was offering himself up, begging for more. Alec pinned him down slightly, firmly reminding him that Alec was in control. Magnus obediently relaxed, a small moan of frustration and need escaping his throat.

In reward, Alec licked deeper into him, twisting his tongue to tease at his tight inner muscles and open him up further. Magnus’s eyes flew open, moaning and arching as Alec’s tongue thrust into him, hot and wet against his sensitive walls.

And then Alec’s tongue withdrew (Magnus whined in protest) and Alec retrieved the lube, generously coating his fingers before closing the tube and tossing it aside.

He looked up at Magnus—still lying on his stomach, hands clenching at the sheets on either side of him—and then pressed a cool, lubed finger to his hole, sliding it all the way into him in one, smooth thrust.

Magnus cried out, ass clenching around him. The slow but steady pace combined with Alec loosening him up with his tongue meant it didn’t hurt much—just enough for him to feel it.

He moved the finger in and out, letting Magnus get used to it, and after a few minutes he slipping in another finger, watching as Magnus moaned loudly and shuddered on the bed.

He kept slowly finger-fucking him, alternating between scissoring roughly and putting his fingers together and sliding in as deep as possible.

Magnus was whimpering a little now, completely lost in the sensation.

Alec hunted for his prostate, rubbing his fingertips against it firmly.

Magnus’s hips rocked helplessly against the mattress, throaty little noises bursting out of him.

Alec thrust in another finger, gentle but firm and unyielding. Magnus clawed at the sheets, turning his face into the pillow to muffle a loud moan.

Alec took a little more time to tease him, wiggling and thrusting his fingers and stretching out Magnus’s rim, watching him clench around the slick digits buried in his ass.

And then Alec withdrew his fingers again, ignoring Magnus’s whine of protest.

“You ready for me, love?” Alec asked. He’d been mostly ignoring his own erection up until now, other than light grinding against the mattress, but he was plenty hard from the show Magnus had been putting on.

“Oh, _yes,”_ Magnus answered immediately, sounding eager and needy. “I want you, Alexander.”

Alec lubed up his cock, adjusting so he was positioned over Magnus, dripping cockhead nudging against his hole. Magnus arched back impatiently, managing to press his cock just slightly inside.

His hand was on Magnus’s ass, thumb rubbing his skin. “You ready?” he double-checked.

“ _Yes,”_ Magnus whined, “Stop teasing me— _ahh!”_

Alec slid into him, fast and smooth. There was a slight drag against his walls, but no resistance as Alec sank all the way inside his boyfriend.

Magnus moaned, eyes rolling back. “ _Fuck,_ that feels so good,” he panted, feeling the thick cock in his ass splitting him open.

“How do you feel?” Alec asked, more than a little smug, hand still rubbing his ass.

“Nnghh... _full._ ” Magnus said, squirming slightly and relishing how Alec’s cock rubbed against his sensitive walls. He felt _full_ and stretched and it was _perfect._

“Good,” Alec said. “You want me to move, love?”

“If you don’t fuck me _right now—”_

Alec never found out what he would do, because he was more than happy to fulfill his wishes.

He pulled his hips back then thrust forward, building a rough and deep rhythm that his cock pounding into Magnus’s ass without mercy.

The angle was deep and perfect, each thrust hitting Magnus’s prostate with ease.

Magnus was whimpering and moaning Alec’s name and pleas for _faster_ and _harder._ Fire was burning through him, pleasant heat building between his legs with every brush against his sweet spot.

Just as he felt like he was going to come, Alec’s thick and hard dick slamming in and out of him, Alec suddenly pulled out, leaving him empty and bereft and clenching helplessly around nothing.

“ _N-no,”_ he groaned. “A-alexander…”

Alec flipped him over, pulling him so he could kiss him. Magnus moaned against his mouth, wrapping his legs around Alec.

Alec slid back into him with ease, continuing his fast pace as if he’d never stopped fucking him. But the angle was different—delicious, but not quite as deep, nor was it hitting his prostate.

Magnus whimpered, squirming slightly but unable to do anything about this.

Alec kissed him hungrily, swallowing up his gasps and whimpers, gripping his hips and fucking him harder, making Magnus shake and moan in his arms. He was hot and ridiculously tight, clenching and unclenching and driving him crazy with lust.

Magnus was clinging to him, helpless to do anything but take every thrust and enjoy it.

“F- _fuck_ ,” he whimpered. “Fuck, please, Alec, touch me, please—”

Alec worked a hand between them grasping Magnus’s cock.

Magnus’s mouth fell open with pleasure, lips slack, eyes practically glazed over with lust.

He could feel Alec’s hand stroking his leaking, sensitive cock—and that, combined with the fullness and the in-and-out thrusts in his ass, was enough to drive him to the brink of orgasm.

“ _Alec,”_ he sobbed. “O-oh, god, I’m so close, please—fuck, Alec, fuck…”

“You feel amazing, love,” Alec groaned, hips beginning to stutter. “Oh, angel, so good, so _tight_ …”

“Fuck, please…” Magnus moaned.

Alec leaned forward (sinking slightly deeper into him and making Magnus’s lips part again) and stroked his cock faster. “Come for me, Magnus.” he ordered quietly.

Magnus arched, trembling and screaming as he finally came.

The lights flickered in staccato along with his hips. Alec ignored it—Magnus often lost control of his magic when he came hard enough—and continued fucking him.

The lights kept flickering as Alec drew his orgasm out, fucking him through it. Alec came inside him, groaning and spilling his hot load deep in Magnus’s ass.

The lights finally died off, the room dim. Magnus relaxed in his arms, sighing happily.

“Mmm…” he nosed against Alec’s neck, wincing slightly as Alec shifted and his softening cock moved slightly inside him.

Alec pulled out, slow and gentle as possible so as not to hurt his boyfriend. Magnus smiled softly at him.

“That was amazing,” Magnus said. His voice was full of gratitude and love and affection.

Alec kissed his cheek. “You were amazing, too,” he said.

“Mm…” Magnus looked up, blinking slowly. “When did you turn off the lights?”

Alec laughed. “Oh, when you were coming you messed with them,” he said.

“I… what?” Magnus asked blankly, eyes wide.

“When you…” Alec trailed off, realization widening his eyes. “Wait. If that wasn’t you, what was it?”

“It wasn’t the wiring,” Magnus said, baffled. “That was checked recently.”

“Well, it wasn’t me!”

“You… you said it happened when I…?”

“Yeah,” Alec nodded, brow furrowed.

Magnus held up a hand, staring at intently. After a long moment, examining his own shaking fingers as if he might find something new there, he snapped his fingers, clear and sharp.

There was a moment of silence, tension thick in the air.

Nothing happened.

“ _Damn it.”_ Magnus hissed.

“Magnus,” Alec asked hesitantly. “Do you think… maybe it was you?”

“It couldn’t be,” Magnus said, frustrated. “Could it?”

“I don’t know,” Alec said. “What does it… feel like?”

Magnus gave him a look. Sad and scorching. “Like I’m empty,” he said shortly. Alec had filled him, for a short time—he’d felt full of warmth and love (and cock) and it had felt amazing, distracted him from everything.

But now he’d snapped back.

“No, I mean… does it feel like it’s been…” Alec searched for words. “Ripped away? Uneven and scarred at the edges? Or just numb?”

Magnus frowned. “…Numb.” he said. “I can’t feel it at all.”

Alec made a noise.

“What?” Magnus asked.

“Well… what if it’s still there?” Alec asked.

“….what?”

“Well, I'm no expert, this is just... I don't know, a theory. But what if he didn’t take it away?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Why would he? What if he just numbed it? You said he didn’t take your cat eyes, right? Because of the biological element. You probably still have his blood, too.”

“…There’s a way to test that,” Magnus said slowly.

He got up to retrieve Alec’s stele, only to wince when soreness flared through his ass and fall back onto the bed.

Alec bit back a smile, kissing him really quick. “I’ll get my stele,” he said.

He left the room and came back a minute or so later with the stele.

Magnus hesitantly reached out a hand. To have hope again, even so briefly, burned.

His fingers brushed the stele then curled around it, taking it from Alec.

The tip glowed red.

He dropped it like it was on fire.

“It worked,” he said disbelievingly. “It—it worked.”

“So, at the very least, you’re still biologically a warlock, right?” Alec asked.

“Um. Yes,” Magnus said, a little preoccupied with his racing thoughts.

Was it possible Alec was right? His magic was just… numb? Cut off, unable to be controlled, but _there,_ at his core?

“I think… I think I need to do some research,” he said, stumbling out of bed. He winced at the soreness but he was ready for it this time, bracing himself and grabbing a silk robe draped over the headboard, slipping it on.  

Alec gently caught his wrist. “Magnus,” he said softly. “C’mon, love, you’re tired. You’ll work better with a sharp mind. How about you postpone this until the morning?”

“How can I sleep when I know… I might be able to get my magic back?” Magnus asked, not looking at him.

“If you really need to do this, I would never stop you,” Alec said. “But we both know you work better on a full night’s sleep. Come to bed with me. In the morning we can call Catarina, make a day of it.”

Magnus bit his lip. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to call Cat or not—part of him unfairly resented being around other warlocks right now, seeing their magic so freely. But he knew that was selfish and Cat was a good friend. She’d be of great help, too—but she was also very busy at her job.

“She’d probably make time for you,” Alec said. “You’re her best friend, and this is important.”

“Did I say all that out loud?” Magnus sighed, feeling the need to rub his temples.

Alec kissed his forehead. “You did,” he said. “You’re tired, love.”

“Tired and fucked-out,” Magnus agreed reluctantly. “Okay, you win, Alexander.”

He limped back to the bed, letting the robe slide form his shoulders and collapsing onto the mattress.

Alec grabbed the blanket and followed, wrapping his arms around him and draping the covers over them. Magnus returned the embrace, curling closer to Alec.

Magnus was still awake in his arms. His body was tired, but his mind was racing with possibilities.

Alec’s breathing didn’t take long to even out as he fell asleep, but Magnus was awake for longer. Relaxed, face pressed against Alec’s skin, but even with his eyes closed and body limp, he couldn’t stop thinking.

Eventually he passed out, out of sheer exhaustion if nothing else.

But he was happy—in his loving’s boyfriend’s arms, with a spark of hope in his chest.

(And now matter how it turned out, Alec would love him. Alec would stay with him. That kept him going.)

 

 

In the morning, he woke to Alec gently shaking him awake.

Alec had let Magnus sleep in and he’d gotten a good night’s rest. Now the smell of breakfast wafted from the other room.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Alec said, one hand stroking through his hair.

Magnus blinked slowly, eyes full of fondness and love. “Hey,” he said, voice hoarse from sleep.

“Catarina’s in the other room,” Alec said, sounding amused. “I told her what happened. She came over pretty much right away.”

Magnus sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“And, uh. I made pancakes,” Alec said.

Magnus shuffled forward, pulling Alec down for a kiss.

Alec kissed back, before pulling away and smiling. “C’mon.”

“Thank you,” Magnus said, voice full of wonder.

“For the breakfast?”

“Just… for everything. Thank you. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Alec hummed. “Come on, your pancakes are getting cold.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> look this series was short and randomly inspired when i had no internet access so i probably won't continue it but if i get inspiration i might add a third fic about him actually legit getting magic back properly  
> but for now live with this i guess
> 
>  
> 
> okay this was totally self-indulgent... the idea is asmodeous didn't actually take away magnus's power. he either doesn't have the mojo to (because magnus is really powerful + asmodeous is crippled and imprisoned. i kinda had a thought that his cane/slight limp was like, a physical manifestation of some sort of power crippling? like 0 in star trek (the Q trilogy books).) or he's just like, choosing to fuck with magnus's head.  
> instead of actually taking it, he just heavily numbed it, cutting off magnus's control and sensing of it. it's vaguely inspired by a fic i once read where basically they made this guy think they'd cut off his hand my making it invisible and he was numbed so he couldn't feel it or know the difference. if that makes sense?  
> but like he could still lose control of it (control he didn't know he was exerting? like in the example of the hand, idk, falling and unconsciously grabbing a table. you're being held up by something but you can't feel the hand or see it. make sense? i didn't think this through completely okay i told you this was impulsive and self-indulgent
> 
> nerd rant on this subject [here](https://thesorrowoflizards.tumblr.com/post/174930693991/big-dumb-partially-incoherent-nerd-rant-on)


End file.
